Trauma of Burglary

I will never forget the ripple of "oh my God, this is not happening" when we realized our home had been burglarized.

That was the beginning of the effects of the burglary.

The monetary value we lost was trivial compared to the sentimental value of items stolen. Electronics taken included our camera and laptop. Digital negatives of our wedding, birthdays, anniversaries, vacations...all gone. And if these jerks were looking through the photos, they had no right. Absolutely no right. Those memories belong to us. Not them.

We don't have much jewelry but included in what was taken - a wedding band, rings passed down from an auntie and my mother, earrings my mother gave me for my 18th birthday...how dare they...

On top of that, we were afraid to leave the house. Fear of being burglarized again, being violated again, made us not want to go to work and leave the house unattended. We were fearful to run simple errands like grocery shopping. We cancelled vacation plans. Essentially, it temporarily paralyzed us.

Then, the fight response really kicked in to high gear. Police told us to expect these jerks to come back and try breaking in our home again. Part of us said, "hey, ok, you come down our street...we'll kick the crap out of your big bad a$$."

These are just a few examples of what goes on in a victim's mind after a burglary. Criminals breaking into one's home, where a person is supposed to feel most safe and at ease, is a very traumatic event. If you've recently experienced a burglary, you're not crazy for thinking/feeling some of these same things.

Initially, it helped a lot to talk with family and friends. Now that a few months have passed, I don't really want to talk to them anymore nor do I really want to talk about the event. I know some healing has occurred because the nightmares are gone. However, I'm still battling other symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Particularly:

• Exaggerated response to things that startle me
• Excess awareness (hypervigilance)
• Palpitations

Now would be a good time to consider talking to a counselor or therapist. We're fortunate our employers offer an EAP- Employee Assistance Program. Find out if your employer offers this as part of your benefits. Typically, an EAP program provides 2-3 free counseling sessions over the phone. After the comp sessions, if you want to continue with counseling or therapy, the Employee Assistance Program will provide referrals of mental health professionals located in your community that specialize in PTSD.

Speaking to a professional (vs. friends/family) can be extremely helpful - this person's only duty to you is to help you understand how to heal and move forward, including how to navigate through the PTSD symptoms.

If you don't have access to an EAP, check with your city if there are any type of support groups or local organizations that can provide assistance in helping victims heal from mental and emotional trauma.

Don't let the jerks who did this have power over you. They've taken too much already. Have courage and allow yourself to heal.

What Would You Do?

I really wish more people would stop worrying about getting into someone else's business when it's crystal clear something is wrong.

Earlier this year, we started watching a show called What Would You Do?. Actors play out precarious and/or morally-questionable situations and cameras capture how people react...if they react. If they are compelled to take action.

For example, on tonight's show, one of the scenarios focused on a guy slipping a powdery substance in his date's drink while she went to the bathroom. Not everyone who saw what happened actually spoke up. Few said anything. Most wanted to stay out of it, even though they clearly saw the male actor drop what looked like drugs into his date's glass of wine.

One of our neighbors saw the guys criminals who broke into our home. Although she felt strongly suspicious about the men knocking on our door, running away from our home, and speeding away in a vehicle, she did nothing.

She needs a major wake-up call and she needs to watch What Would You Do?.

Hopefully, people watching this show have their eyes opened a little wider and their brains tapped a little harder.

It's not about being a hero but it does involve a little common sense plus courage.

Don't be afraid to speak up. Be a nosy neighbor. Don't just stand by and do nothing. You could be stopping a crime. Perhaps even saving a life.

The Golden Rule feels appropriate right now. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Hold Regular Neighborhood Watch Meetings

When I lived alone in a condo complex, the HOA would hold regular neighborhood watch meetings. About 3-4 a year. I learned that community members in a neighborhood will naturally be hyper-vigilant when a crime has been recently committed. But...as times passes...

A couple months go by. Then 6 months pass. Nothing happens. Folks in the neighborhood almost forget about what happened and seldom discuss past unpleasant events. Then, when everyone becomes a little less vigilant, criminals strike again.

It certainly doesn't have to be this way. You can help keep neighbors vigilant by holding regular neighborhood watch meetings. This isn't about letting fear overtake your life; it's about keeping the crooks out of the place you call home.

At our last neighborhood watch meeting, we shared tips on what to watch for - like suspicious guys on bicycles carring a backpack. We learned about a neighbor's experience being burglarized at her previous home. We got to know each other a little better.

Oh, and have some fun. Make it a potluck.

Be Suspicious of Guys on Bicycles with Backpacks

If you see an unfamiliar person riding a bicycle carrying a backpack through your neighborhood, it's possible he is a burglar looking for some easy pickings. We've heard from law enforcement that a lot of ex-cons out on parole can't get a driver's license...so they end up on bicycles.

They look for unattended open garages where they can quickly steal some tools or other belongings - things that can fit in a backpack. It's not beyond them to break into a home. Electronics and other valuables can fit in a backpack too.

Our local police has instructed us to call them anytime we see someone suspicious, like an unfamiliar person riding a bicycle through our neighborhood and carrying a backpack. They'll come check it out.

Now don't call 9-1-1 unless it's an emergency. Memorize the non-emergency telephone number for your local law enforcement agency. Each person in our family has it programmed in our cell phones and on speed dial.

Personal Data Lost in a Burglary

The dirtbags that broke into our home stole our personal laptop. Like many other digitized individuals, we stored a lot of personal info on that piece of equipment. While hopeful these criminals just wanted the hardware for cash, we were realistic about protecting our identity.

If you suspect any of your personal info has been compromised during a burglary, act quickly.

#1: Call your bank where you have your checking and savings accounts. Essentially where you have accounts that house easily accessible cash (your IRAs, 401 accts, etc, we'll talk about those later in this post). Let them know your info has been compromised. You will usually be transferred to a Fraud Department that will help you close the compromised accounts and setup new ones. This dept will also flag and monitor your accounts/profile for unusual activity. You will have to transfer any automatic payments or direct deposits. IMPORTANT: ask to have a verbal password placed on your accounts/profile that will be prompted anytime you call the bank.

#2: Freeze your credit or place a fraud alert on your credit. A fraud alert is usually good for 90 days and requires the company obtaining the credit report to ask the applicant several additional verfication questions. Freezing your credit means your report is on lockdown. You can only unlock it by a unique password or a written request - depending on the reporting agency. Since we're not planning on getting a loan or applying for credit, we decided to freeze one and place a fraud alert on the other in case we need it for any random reason. We paid $10 per agency to freeze (small price to pay for a little peace of mind) and the fraud alert was free. Actually, the fee to freeze can be waived if you provide a police report. I think that takes too much time because you have to request the report, wait for approval from law enforcement for release of the report, then snail mail in your freeze request with the copy of the police report. Like I said, $10 is a small price to pay. You can also consider a credit monitoring service that charges a monthly fee to alert you anytime your credit is accessed.

#3: If you auto-save passwords (e.g. on your browser and your laptop was stolen), go to a trusted friend's or relative's house to borrow a computer. Start logging into your various accounts and change the passwords. Add additional security questions while you're at it.

#4: For finanical accounts where cash is a little more difficult to access, call in and let them know your personal data has been compromised. For brokerage or retirement accounts, ask if they have a "no funds out" restriction. This still allows you to trade but funds cannot be transferred out unless written instructions are provided. Several institutions can also place a verbal password prompt as mentioned earlier.

#5: Monitor your accounts regularly. With online/telephone/mobile banking, check your bank accounts (checking, savings) at least weekly. Truthfully, I recommend you check them every day at first, then migrate to every other day, and then weekly. The day after the burglary, the crooks tried to access my accounts online.

It's no easy task to protect one's identity. I'm even a bit exhausted writing this post - basically re-living the steps we took after the burglary. However, the tasks are well worth the peace of mind.

Wanted: Nosy Neighbors

A neighbor across the street saw the vehicle the burglars were driving. She saw it drive around the block 3x. That's right, THREE times. The statement she gave police - she saw two guys...noticed one running away from our house (not out of the house but away from the house)...and then speed off.

Get this: She didn't call the police.

Frak. Let me get this right. She didn't call the police. She saw them drive around the block 3x. She saw them running away from the house. She saw them speed off. She didn't call the police.

Her mother was also in the front yard at the time. She too witnessed ALL of this but didn't think to call the police. She said, "I wasn't sure if it was someone you knew." Frak.

Serendipity for these criminals that our least nosy neighbor was the only one outside that early evening. Everyone else on our street is ALL in our business and would have found that activity suspicious in a heartbeat. Our burglary was the first on our street in 25 years.

A nosy neighbor can be the most effective solution to stopping a burglary or catching a burglar. You want nosy neighbors. I'll even say you want very nosy and not just kinda sorta nosy. Kinda sorta isn't likely to take action when it's most needed.

Sheriff or Local Police?

If your neighborhood is served by a local police department, you're likely to have a faster response time if you call 9-1-1. The county sheriffs have a much larger jurisdiction than your local PD. As a result, they might not get to you as soon as local officers would.

When we called 9-1-1 that evening, the police arrived within a few minutes. Literally, 3-4 minutes. We're very glad our PD responded so quickly. I've heard a few cases from others who have experienced a burglary that law enforcement took 20 minutes...even 2 hours to appear. Ouch. Fail.

While you can't really do much about which law enforcement body serves your community, it's something to consider if you're planning to move or if you're buying a home.

Don't Touch Anything

I didn't think about fingerprints the second I realized our home had been burglarized. The sheer panic racing through my veins led me to check places within the home where we keep a few valuables. It was my husband's quick sense of reason that broke through the cloud of emotion saying, "DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING."

Hopefully, the police will get good, clean fingerprints of the theives. In many cases, these criminals are repeat offenders. If good prints are obtained and the burglars are repeats, they'll be in the system. If they're not currently in the system and they get caught later on (for this crime or another), they'll be matched to the print(s) left in your home.

A tip from a cop: keep your furniture/countertops/etc. as dust-free as possible. Clean, shiny surfaces capture much better fingerprints than dusty, not-so-clean areas.