Jesus Knows You're Here

A little comic relief if you've gone through a burglary. Forwarded from our former pet sitter:


Jesus Knows You're Here

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around,looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, "Jesus knows you're here."

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, after a bit, he shook his head and continued. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard, "Jesus is watching you."

Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.

"Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot.

"Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you that he is watching you."

The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?"

"Moses," replied the bird.

"Moses?" the burglar laughed, "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?"

"The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus."

Be Suspicious of Guys on Bicycles with Backpacks

If you see an unfamiliar person riding a bicycle carrying a backpack through your neighborhood, it's possible he is a burglar looking for some easy pickings. We've heard from law enforcement that a lot of ex-cons out on parole can't get a driver's license...so they end up on bicycles.

They look for unattended open garages where they can quickly steal some tools or other belongings - things that can fit in a backpack. It's not beyond them to break into a home. Electronics and other valuables can fit in a backpack too.

Our local police has instructed us to call them anytime we see someone suspicious, like an unfamiliar person riding a bicycle through our neighborhood and carrying a backpack. They'll come check it out.

Now don't call 9-1-1 unless it's an emergency. Memorize the non-emergency telephone number for your local law enforcement agency. Each person in our family has it programmed in our cell phones and on speed dial.